Fakeindianbbahu's Blog

A Sensitive and Logical Young Indian Female's Blog

My Yesterdays Chat…Amazed and Happy…

Some of my So called friends had been telling me that in this house the inlaws are behaving badly with the DIL…One day I asked the DIL if there was any problem , just incase Domestic violence was the case , I would have kept a proper watch… But what she answered me , nothing yaar , mere Sasur to mere per dabate hain jab mein thak jaati hoon…I was amazed….Also I saw her everyday riding her scooter and FIl sitting at the back chatting nicely and she wears whatever she likes….

But ..ya the yesterdays chat… I was waiting in a common area and her MIL was there lookign after the kid…and FIL just introduced me to MIL (in her 50’s end), I just sat there , she was chatting and she figured out I had a intercaste , inter-region marriage… She just said ours is a inter-religion , I got confused , may be its about her DIL , She said no , It is our inter-religion ….I said great ,She said it is an arranged marriage , that too in some rareky know district of India, Yes I was amazed …She said she is a Muslim and Husband a Hindu Brahmin… More Amazed , Then chat continued , she said she was against all the Fanatic Behaviour In both religion and denied marriage….And finally by arranged marriage (Hindu-muslim) they met each other and married , I asked her how was the support while rearing kids as you were working …She said oh , My husband took 3 years off from his job as we decided whoever has higher salary will retain the job…I felt great and proud of such entities in my patriarchial and suffocating culture and where even Educated Young Mind has no clarity in mind ……And do we need religion is also one question, i really question myself…

And what about those so called “friend” ladies who were talking all nonsense about such a sane family…Why they talk sh*t…

October 13, 2013 Posted by | Indian women | 2 Comments

And then the shame washed over me. The Big Gender Shame….

Jailbreak the Patriarchy : A Chrome Plugin …How it shows the real world..


“And boi, did I notice the water. I decided to take the plug-in to this article about the new Bravo reality show set in the Silicon Valley. I was merrily reading along about Mr. Randi Zuckerberg, reading sentences such as “Kim Taylor described his start-up as based on personalized content in the luxury market for men.” And then it hit me. These people were actually women! In the technology industry! My brain said, “fah real?” I had to toggle the Patriarchy to read the “real” version of the article to be sure. And then the shame washed over me. The Big Gender Shame.

I’m a fairly gender-aware / gender-bendy person, but this plug-in had me breaking down prejudices I didn’t even realize I had, because they’d been so easy to quickly push aside. Why did I have to check on it to make sure these people were women? And why was I so surprised? But most importantly, why did I really care what gender these people were? The content in the article was more or less the same either way.”


Sucher says Jailbreak The Patriarchy has around 10,000 users, though she doesn’t know the precise demographics: She knows, though, that it’s been used in several Gender Studies classes (professors have written her grateful letters about it), and that her “community — the liberal queer-type developer — tends to get really excited about it.“”



September 27, 2013 Posted by | Indian women | Leave a comment

And most of them get a Bahu of their choice …And later end up in unsatisfied DIL

Need your comments , this article has been taken from : The whole article is so worth reading that couldnt delete anything…What does it depict about our present generation..

Marriage bureaus say more than 90% of men and their moms in Gurgaon want unemployed brides, so they can devote time to the rishtedaars and the house.

Of course they shouldn’t just sit at home. There’s plenty to stay occupied – the family business, NGOs, home ventures or even kitty parties – anything but a job!

Gurgaon draws ample comparison with many-a-foreign city with its buzzing work culture and equally buzzing nightlife. However, Millennium City men just don’t want their buzzing female counterparts as the wife. What they want are perfect homemakers who keep themselves and the house sparkling, spend time with the hubby and saas-sasur, and impress the extended family with their home-running skills. We kid you not. According to a survey by matrimonial site shaadi.com, 94% to-be-grooms in Gurgaon want non-working women. While for the business class, it’s about ‘why should she go and work for someone else when she can work in the family business?’, salaried professionals don’t want a wife’s hectic workday grind to throw their domestic lives in disarray.

For them, it’s about status: matchmaker
A spokesperson from shaadi.com says, “We’ve observed this trend, which makes the bride requirements of Delhi and Gurgaon different. This data includes both service and business-class people.” Gurgaon-based matchmaker Janvhi Oberoi of Janvhi Matrimonial agrees, “The majority of my clients ask for non-working brides; I would say 99% of them. They just don’t want their bahus to do a nine to five job. For business families, I’ve had clients saying, “Hum doosron ko naukri dete hain, hamari bahu doosron ke yahaan kyun naukri karegi?'” Asked if Delhi too has a similar trend, she says, “No. People in Delhi are just obsessed with the area. They all want their daughters to get married in South Delhi.”

Bahus should be unemployed, yes, but self-occupied
Priya Verma of Global Alliance Matrimony explains, “Subah uth ke chai banaane wali toh kisi ko bhi nahi chahiye. Most of my clients are industrialists and high-earning professionals. These people prefer a non-working girl, but want her to be self-occupied, meaning doing something but not an office job – open an NGO, have a business of her own, or get busy with socializing and kitty parties etc. These things keep their wives or daughters-in-law occupied, but at the same time, as per the family’s needs, she can adjust her schedule.” Priya adds, “In many cases, the girl herself opts not to work. They are those who get married late and want a break from work.”

While at the time of the wedding, the groom’s family might prefer an unemployed girl, they might offer the daughter-in-law a start-up of her own or to join the family business once she’s settled in. “My son is getting married in December. My daughter-in-law was a sales executive at an MNC. When we have a business of our own, what is the need for her to work? We asked her to quit. If she wants, she can join our family business, which she’ll definitely enjoy,” says Manoj Oberoi, a businessman.

Bahus should devote time to the family
Another Gurgaon-based matchmaker, Amit Shukla, tells us, “Clients clearly tell us to look for non-working girls as they, according to them, have more family values. Apart from looks and education, the other important criterion now is a non-working bride. These clients either belong to the business class or are high-earning professionals. They want an English-speaking girl so she can adjust into their friend circle. Such wives can devote more time to the family, look after the household and also help the mom-in-law in her kitty parties.”

To this, Seema Sharan*, who is looking for a bride for her son, says, “I have a joint family. I want an educated girl who can look after my family. If I get a working girl, it will be difficult for her to join us for family dinners, functions or outings. I too, used to teach before marriage, but I quit because I didn’t want my relatives to comment on how little time I gave to my family. Believe it or not, a working-bride can’t devote much time to her family. On weekends, they would like to rest and spend time alone. Aise mein rishtedaar toh chhoro, khud ki family ke liye bhi time nikaalna mushkil hai.”

We’ll be too tired to spend time together: bachelors
“I work for 55-60 hours a week. If I have a working wife, it will be difficult. Jab mujhe tour pe jana hoga, tab woh nahi jaa payegi, jab usse weekend pe kaam karna padega, toh main bore ho jaunga. It will be like two unmarried, working people just living together. At night, we’ll be too tired to talk. I’ve made my choice clear to my parents. I want a non-working girl. At least she’ll be there for me all the time. I know it sounds selfish, but if you think of the future, this decision is perfect for the both of us,” says Pratik Kumar*, 28, a production engineer.

Vaibhav Agrawal*, 32, a sales manager, says, “A working wife has just one advantage – dual income. But the savingsstill stay zero. If you have a working wife, you spend all your income on maids, drivers, laundry and other such things. If you don’t have a working wife, you spend all your income on her shopping. Still, I would prefer a non-working girl. She can be handled, but a working girl is more arrogant. I deal with these girls daily at work. They are competitive, and are opportunists who would do anything for a promotion. Aisi kisi bandi se agar meri shaadi hui toh office aur ghar mein koi difference nahi rahega.”



September 21, 2013 Posted by | Indian women | 2 Comments

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