Fakeindianbbahu's Blog

A Sensitive and Logical Young Indian Female's Blog

Brilliant Song on Indian Intelligent Way of Controlling Sexuality…thru taunts and scare..

Brilliant Song on Indian Intelligent Way of Controlling Sexuality…thru taunts and scare..Simple Small Effective Statements and acting thru multiple angles – Control Women , Continue Patriarchy , Aunties and Uncles as Guardians Of Patriarchy , Scare and fear of results , Giving Bad name…

Comments please…

Shuddh Desi Romance

Dhoop mein nahayega toh dhoop lag jaayegi  (If you take bath in sun, you’ll get tanned,Obsession of Indian Society to Fairness crucial to getting married for girls)
Baatein yun banayega toh baat badh jaayegi( If you talk to much to boys or anything, girls will go out of control and may also fall in love , Any love marriages are not approved in India)
Ladki ghumayega toh lat lag jaayegi ( If you go out with a girl you will get the habit of dating , again not approved in India )

Chhori lipstick lagayegi toh bhoot ban jaayegi (If the girl puts on lipstick, she’ll look like a ghost – Chori-Unmarried girls Dont put lipstick it is western and also sexually provocative – Before marriage not allowed , but after marriage mandatory 😉 )
Sandalein chadhayegi toh oont ban jaayegi ( Girls should not be taller then men  and also you will look big and marrying after being adult is a problem , marry ASAP dont look older)
Phailti hai yahaan wahaan chhoot lag jaayegi (Spreading your Horizion here and there is bad sign , believe will not accept you , or you may even get raped and be untouchable finally)

Ho khidki dareeche se
Dabe paaon neeche se
Jhoote samaajon mein
Jhoote riwaajon mein
Liye hi jaaye koi chance

(Above:From some windows,
from under cover, in hiding,
in the false societies
and in false customs,
some keep taking their chances..)

Shuddh desi desi desi romance
Kameene haay re
Haay re crazy crazy vazy romance
Sharam naa aaye re

(Above : Pure countryside, Indian romance..
These kamine : mean and one who falls to any depth to get his things done type people!
Yeah, crazy-crazy romance..
They’re shameless..)

Hmmm… Galiyon mein phire
Kyun dikhe dukaanon-vukaanon mein
Ye mui belakhni
Haaye re mui belakhni

(Above : She wanders in streets,
Why is she seen in shops etc.,She goes out of Home, Women are supposed to be at Home all times
this damned adulteress,
this damned damned adulteress..

[Belakhni and belakhna would literally mean one who doesn’t have the ‘good character’ as per the societal norms.

Belakhni – Alokhi(Bangla) – Alakshmi [ksh – is called kha in , beLakhsmi , Alakshmi) – Social norm following and bringing dowry “”Good Girls”” are called Lakshmi In India . Alakshmi is the Opposite and Bad Sister of Lakshmi as per Mythology ]

belakhni would be the word for the girl and belakhna would be the word for the boy. The tone of belakhna/belakhni is casual, though the meaning is more or less an adulterer here.]

Haay re haay, collar toh bade
Yun chadhe giraaye, giraaye chale
Muaa belakhna
Haaye re muaa belakhna

(Above : see, collars are kept high,
and he walks while moving them down..
damned adulterer..
this damned damned adulterer..

Dar na dikhaoge toh par lag jaayenge
Armaan sulao ji, nahi toh jag jaayenge
Galiyon mein aashiqon ke jhund lag jaayenge

(If you don’t show them the fear, they’ll grow wings,
Make their wishes sleep, or else they’ll wake up..
There will be herds of lovers in streets..
[i.e. the common feeling of the society is that if you don’t keep your young boys and girls in control, all of them will be falling in love.Falling in love is sin – unholy act])

Abhi kachche aam hai ji, ye toh pak jaayenge
Badon chhupaya hai jo ye toh chakh jaayenge
Bade boodhe bade bade bol bol thak jaayenge

(As of now they are raw mangoes, they’ll be ripened
They’ll taste what the elders have hidden from them , Oxymoron: but they should be married early too oxymoron
The elders and old ones will be tired telling them..)

Ho khidki dareeche se
Dabe paaon neeche se
Jhoote samaajon mein
Jhoote riwaajon mein
Liye hi jaaye koi chance

Shuddh desi desi desi romance
Kameene haaye re
Haay re crazy crazy vazy romance
Sharam naa aaye re ….

I love this song , Nice depiction of  our society in simple lyrics or rather complex lyrics

Feel like adding one more Modern Line (Nonsense to control womens good health , ratehr give bad health), and educated science and biology students buy it ……

Weights Uthayegi to Dole Ban Jayenge … ( If you lift weight , you will bulk up) …Another Pure Unadulterated BS…..Aur/And Even a Woman wants to bulk up , its her choice..


September 22, 2013 Posted by | culture, current issues, daughter sons, Double standards, fakeindianbbahu, family, feminism, fiction, freedom, gender, happiness, Indian women, intolerance, jeans, love, marriage, modern outlook, poems, society, Stereotypes, strength, superstition, Tradition, work | , , , | 2 Comments

Analysis of an Indian Matrimonial Advertisement Content ..

I saw this ad in newspaper one day , just for fun .. and it was real fun .

Wanted Bride Homely , Working in MNC  , Well Convent Educated ,From a good financial background, Know how to manage and do all house work from good family.Should be Beautiful , fair , tall (at least 5’4″) slim for a XXXXXX caste boy, 24 yr old  5, 7″ height working in XXXX company for past 1 yr earning 15K per month.

Analysis you will love…

  • He is just working for a year expecting his wife to be working so he is ok with an elder wife.
  • He is himself not working for MNC , but still looking for one…;-)
  • He is Looking for Dowry : good financial background.
  • He wants a wife who will toil at home as well as office , doing all household work.
  • He wants a nice beautiful women at night , with all beauty in her..No flaws ..eh ?
  • Tall ? Model …Looks like you have seen lots of Pagents …

The analysis….Looking for a super woman , all the qualities , Do you have all ?If she doesn’t then she will be taunted …

They look for highly educated+beauty queen+domestic goddess..

Looking for a what “GOD” ??? Who can do everything , And what are you GROOM ??Does your sister OR mother has all those quality, THINK AGAIN !

Updated :
Check out the latest song from Mere Brother ki Dulhan…It perfectly fits the matrimonial ad…nice spoof on matrimonial ads… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OC3FPb3CTU
Matrimonial si aankhein, sabko ab taake jaake
Matrimonial si aankhein, dhoondhe re chehre baanke
(matrimonial si aankhein)

Sundar ho susheela, rang chaandi sa chamkeela
Degree bhi ho fashin bhi jaane (soniye)

Ho Seeta jaise naari aur jaane duniya daari
Piya ko sab kuch hi woh maane
Dil se Dilli ho woh dhadkan se London
Dhoondu mein dhoondu, mere brother ki dulhan

Matrimonial si aankhein, sabko ab taake jaake
Matrimonial si aankhein, dhoondhe re chehre baanke

Mere brother ki dulhan, brother ki dulhan, brother ki dulhan
mere brother ki dulhan, brother ki dulhan, brother ki dulhan

Kaam mein jo na ho lazy
Ho jis mein 3G ki tezzi
Aur ho chhok si adaa (soniye)
Relation samjhe jo ladki, rahe na ego mein badki
Jo laaye good luck hi good luck hi sadaa
Hai toh responsibility, phir bhi iss mein hum
Dhoondu mein dhoondu, mere brother ki dulhan

Mere brother ki dulhan, brother ki dulhan, brother ki dulhan


God knows when people will look for real people for marriage…

February 6, 2011 Posted by | current issues, feminism, freedom, gender, Indian women, intolerance, justice, marriage, MIL Mother in law, politics, society, working women | , , , , , | 4 Comments

Saam Daam Dand Bhed….

I know some must be wondering what is this ?

Some must be thinking , Oh , post on this !

Some must be thinking , Religious ? Principles of Geeta ?

Truth Principles of Geeta in present world , One of most used principles by Chanakya , Taught at Harvard..Used in the corporate world…A powerful mantra…

He he he… and of-course used by me in my personal life ….

During Mahabharat,  Krishna is an ideal manager as per corporate world, in this epic, He has the required people skills to manage a war of that scale, urging people to follow him.  His inspiring conflict resolution skills are remarkable and decision making skills exemplary.The four diplomatic principles…
1. saam, the process of pacifying and Patience , influencing.
2. daam, the process of giving currency, win opponent by currency, Definition of currency : gold , money , last , power , respect.. 🙂 , I know what you are thinking , I think when you go to Govt Office , Sometimes courtesy and calling Sir itself gets your work done without bribe , Is respect not currency you can exchange for ?????? , If given power not money , would you not take the post of PM instead of CEO of a high paying Multinational ??????. Daam : anything with that you can get an exchange..
3. bhed, the principle of dividing , Divide and rule , Policy of appeasement,difference
4. dand, the principle of punishment , Final and last resort ,

These are four policies which helps to a person to be successful in his any job/task in life..

But the 3 and 4 principles are interchangeable or Can be used in conjunction in very smart and rare scenario… Challenge:Can you think of this ? This combo is a tricky one..

Answer : OK let me give you my example..

Lets take the Famous case of FakeindianBbahu…

My MIL as known was most horrible relation which was toughest to handle…

he he he.. 😀  Now you see why the MIL’s things are not getting handled even after many generations….where I have to use the rare conjunction of principle 3&4….dand+bhed…

So the Saga …

Saam : When I got married , my MIL used to bad mouth , say any crap , even suggest divorce as per some Dhongi Pandit.etc etc.. I just kept quiet…I agreed to everything..I tried doing all her crap superstitions ..everything under the sun…

Daam : I tried gifting her the best of things , My Hubby replaces old  TV , fridge , bought new microwave , washing machine everything , I also agreed ..Thinking peace will come to our home this way and prevail…Not only that my hubby was asked to buy TV ,fridge , mixie , gold , furniture , everything under the sun for the my SIL by my MIL, even though my SIL’s Hubby didn’t like that(mature soul) , infact he got angry saying are we beggars…but my MIL simply was comparing our home materials with theirs..

Now I couldn’t use Bhed separately and Dand separately..MY Hubby was Mama’s Boy..Thats the catch ladies…

Dand :So I used Dand first in a subtle way with Bhed : I stopped talking to them , my hubby was upset.

Bhed : He started questioning me why you don’t talk..I answered because I have been hurt by your Mother and that flowed to me thru you too , But had it been only you , it would have not happened , you were never like this before marriage you have changed , because of her , you are influenced .. That was the truth..Bhed….But I kept my stand of Dand during this time until peace prevails and tortures of my life goes away by your Mother and consecutively you too…

Now the secret , this conjunction is used very commonly 😀 BUT with a big mistake….

YOU KNOW WHAT MIL’s and many Hubby’s use 3&4 principles in conjunctions from Day One without use of 1 & 2 principle and created an unnecessary battle…So beware , these principles should be used starting from 1….Else you create a bad world , not win a situation, remember even in parenting this holds true and in any phase of life ..Check out where you do this grave mistake…Even Britishers did this mistake , they were ousted by Gandhiji’s version of Saam Daam Dand Bhed .. (Sam dam dand bhed)

Mahatma Gandhi

  • Saam: politeness and peace, British respected him
  • Daam: He paid for his education in Africa , pay in form of fasting /Satyagraha (remember Daam , anything with that you can get an exchange)
  • Dand:  Powerful weapon of  nonviolence; hit Britishers right in their mind.
  • Bhed: Movements, Groups, Only Swadeshi Goods.

Leaving you with these Fantastic examples…Your Feedback’s are more than solicited …


October 6, 2010 Posted by | blogging, bouncing back, business ideas, child rights, constitution laws, crazy area, culture, current issues, Daughter in law DIL, daughter sons, domestic violence, Double standards, fakeindianbbahu, family, feminism, fiction, freedom, gender, glass ceiling, happiness, history, horoscope, husband, Images, Indian women, Interesting Videos, intolerance, jeans, jokes fun, justice, love, mahabharat, marriage, MIL Mother in law, modern outlook, Opinion polls, poems, politics, society, Stereotypes, strength, superstition, Tradition, Uncategorized, working women | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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